4 more days of wondering, 4 more days of anxiety, 4 more days until I have a closer look at my future.
After fully reviewing my hormone levels it turns out they are actually "normal" and can't be the reason for infertility. I texted Mark today saying I don't want to go to the DR Friday. I don't want to know the outlook isn't good. I don't want to be told "we don't know". I don't want to feel uncertain of which path to take. I feel like we have too much going on right now and I am not sure I can handle it. I feel so discouraged with our house situation, I don't want to feel discouraged about our kids.
If we can't have 4 kids, why have a house that big? No matter what we will have more kids, but if adoption or surrogacy is the only way, we won't be able to afford the costs of 3 kids through those means.
I guess I am just having a pitty party for myself today. As Eliza runs around being as sweet as ever, I sit here selfishly thinking about the kids I can't have.
Time to put on my big girl panties and just deal with the situation right??
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