Second Child Shaft

I am struggling. How do you do everything equal? I want my kids to think everything is fair, as much as it may not be. I don't want one to think they get more than the other. Whether it is attention, love or material things. Everyone says, it always works out, but I am struggling.

Before I was pregnant with Eliza, I had started to plan everything for her. I had clothes and blankets and cute little knick-knacks for her room. Once we found out she was a girl I had it all done. The paintings on the wall, the bedding, the accessories, it was done to the max.

Now here I am with little lady bug, and I am struggling. She is going to get Eliza's furniture which has been chewed on and banged up. I just can't justify buying another crib. She did get new bedding, mostly because I was SO over pink and brown! I went to go buy her baby book, the same one I had made for Eliza, and I realize it is $70!! What in the world was I thinking?? It is a beautiful book and I really like all of the personalized pages in it, but I couldn't tell you the last time I wrote in it. Like any new mom I think I did it religiously at first, then it slowed down. Then it somehow slipped under the bed and I found it when moving.

I am now in a dilemma. Do I buy it or not? I don't want Lady Bug to feel the Second Child Shaft. I want her things to be just as nice as Eliza's things. I want her to have new things that are all her own vs always having hand me downs, but $70 is a bit excessive.

As a second child, I remember wanting what my sister had, but only because it was "cooler". I wanted to be older and bigger like her. I wanted the sneakers she had but they didn't make them in my size, or I was too small for the cool new shirt she got. I never felt that she got more than me though, just different.

I need to find a balance, I need to find what is fair for my girls.

I would love any input you have, especially if you have children of the same gender.