Friday, October 3, 2014

Third Time Infertility...?

Now I doubt that there is anything called "Third Time Infertility", but I guess that is what this is. Yep, it's back.

Never in my life did I ever think I would be dealing with infertility, especially a second time after what was supposed to be so "rare". Growing up they make you think you could get pregnant by looking at each other wrong, now here I am begging to have more children and it is the hardest thing in the world!

If you are new here, welcome, here is a quick rundown.

I have Ashermans Syndrome.

After the birth of my first daughter, Eliza, I had to have an emergency D&C for retained placenta which left me with Ashermans Syndrome. My cervix was scarred shut and I was left with Secondary Infertility. After testing and months of confusion, I was able to have a hysteroscopy in October of 2012 to remove the scar tissue and became pregnant in March 2013. My daughter Emelia was born December 2013.

Emelia was born via c-section after hours and hours of trying to get her positioned properly. Now when I say hours and hours, I mean 8 full hours of her putting her head the wrong way and the DR reaching in and manually putting it back. Unfortunately, as I got closer to being able to deliver, her little head wouldn't stay put and it was too risky to have her that way and they decided a c-section was the safest way. I felt defeated but I knew the DR did everything possible.

So that was a super fast, vague rundown, but here we are today. Emelia is almost 10 months old and I have not started my cycle since having her. I stopped nursing months ago, I went through my normal hormone shift/hair loss and still no cycle. The only thing I have that resembles a period is the most excruciating pain I have ever felt in my entire life. It is every 28-29 days so I know it is when my cycle should be. I get stabbing pain in my stomach and up my back. The pain is so severe I have involuntary movements in my arms, back and legs from my body trying to adjust from the pain. I usually have to take Vicodin, which I never do, to even dull the pain. Mark watches in disbelief as my body shakes and jolts from the pain.

Though we don't plan on trying for more kids for a while, I am done with this pain and need to have my surgery again ASAP.

My last painful day was this past Wednesday. Knowing it was coming, I called my Reproductive Endocrinologist on Tuesday and asked for an appointment. I went in today and explained the pain, with disappointment, she agreed that is sounds like my Ashermans is back. Due to the amount of trauma that happened when I was trying to have Emelia, we are hopeful that it is contained to my cervix again, as that was a pretty quick and easy fix.

So on to the next steps. I had my blood drawn today to check my levels, Sunday I get to go in for an ultrasound to make sure everything looks good and then on Tuesday I get to have the wonderful HSG.

Prayers would be greatly appreciated. Though we are so grateful and blessed to have the girls, we would love to have more children. It is so hard to describe the feeling when someone tells you that you can't have more children verses deciding that your family is complete.

I'll be back after my HSG to update how that went, fingers crossed!!

Just for fun, here are a few new photos of my lovies.